A Joyful Noise

Blondes Don’t Have More Fun….

07 Dec 2010 5 Comments

by rebecca7 in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, Jesus, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood, travel

Ever have those moments when your heartbreaks for your children? Last night was one of those nights.

Here in Egypt, children are greatly loved and adored by all people. Many times, as small children pass they are touched and complimented and often given gifts/treats. It’s really a beautiful thing. However, because this is not our first culture this is particularly hard for our children. Specifically, Ava.

Ava is a little bit different than my other children. With Claire and Jorden you can bet that what you see is what you get. Ava on the other hand appears to be very confident but is actually quite reserved and hesitant to try new things. Here Ava draws ALOT of attention because of her blonde hair. Everyone remembers her name. Every body on the street (very gently and in a non-harmful way) touches her head or her cheek. It’s not uncommon for people on our way to school to run out of their shop and call her name. Now, sometimes…this is ok with her. If she is feeling especially happy she will wave and bid them “Sebah ElHare” or Good morning. But most of the time this is very difficult for her.

Last night as I was washing dishes Ava comes in and sits on the chair next me. She begins by saying, “Mama, I don’t like it when I have to be nice to people on the street.” Now my first reaction was to laugh a bit and say, “WHY?!” Then she proceeds to tell me how uncomfortable it is for her to be patted and spoken too everyday…everywhere. Then at the very end she says, “I just wish my hair was brown or black or that I didn’t look like this.” Ok, for you mothers reading this you can imagine how my heart sunk at hearing my 6 year old tell me that she wishes she looked different.

So there we stood looking at each other. Me, silently praying for some words that would really mean something to her. I didn’t want to pacify her. I didn’t want to tell her, “Your beautiful. Don’t worry about it.” Instead, I actually wondered if we should do a dark non permanent wash on her hair…I wondered if it would make difference and I wondered where to find it. She: looking at me with large dark sad eyes…waiting for comforting words from me. So rather than suggesting we dye here hair I asked her, “Do you realize that God made you extra special? You are the only one out of the five of us that has blonde hair. And He knew you would grow up in Egypt. Do you think that God makes mistakes?” She answers a quiet, “no”. “And do you know that one day your hair will be brown like mommies, so it’s just a little bit of time for you have yellow hair”? “Really?” she answers. Then I said,”Yes, so it’s just for a little bit that you have to have blonde hair. But now, God wants you to trust him? Accept that you are especailly created in His image and when you feel uncomfortable remember that He is with you. And remember ..Daddy and I will make very sure that you are never harmed and while I expect you to be respectful, you don’t have to be friendly to strangers.” She just sadly nodded and went in her room and cried. So I just crawled in bed with her and we snuggled, we prayed, we talked about home, cousins, grandparents and friends. This morning she was better. A little extra time and it seemed that it was enough to get her through the day.

As I think now I realize that my reaction to lifes hardships are very similar to Ava’s. I want to change things or fix things before I really seek to trust in the Lord. I am so quick to think of alternatives rather than simply saying, “Lord, give me the grace handle the situation you have placed me in. Change me so that through this time I can draw closer to you.” And so often, after I have spent time in the word or in prayer, I really do find the strength to rest and trust in His plans for my life.

Today Ava is fine. Laughing with little kids on the street and waving to the man that does everyones ironing. It seems that for now the crisis has passed. But my heart is still “on guard” for her. I will now put her on the other side of me when we pass people. I will now look people in the eye and shake my head when they see her and smile because Ava and her security is more important than the approval of those around me. But most importantly, parenting (once again) has shed light on a weakness in my life. A weakness that when not identified will lead to a “pull myself up by the bootstraps” mentality.

I am grateful for the opportunity to pray for and with my daughter, even though I grieve the heart ache she is dealing with. I am grateful that God revealed to me the danger of “jumping to fix” things when what I really need to do is trust. But mostly, I am glad that she actually talked to me …and I think that is what God must feel when we finally get to a point that our burdens are to heavy to carry. He has joy in our commuication with Him. When we draw near..and we give Him the opportunity to be our comforter and our shelter..it there in those sweet moments that we are weak enough and vulnerable enough to really experience the true sweet healing spirit of our Loving Savior.