Just waiting….
19 Aug 2008 2 Comments
in christianity, encouragement, faith, home schooling, Jesus, Just thinking, Life, Uncategorized
We are waiting!
Waiting for a referral.
Waiting for our case manager to call.
Waiting to leave for Egypt.
Waiting for our support to come in.
Waiting for our school books to arrive.
I tell you what, I am learning to wait. I have to say that in the past, when there has been lots of waiting I have not been very faithful. Often I have been anxious-even angry. As a result I have really missed the point of waiting and missed out on what God was doing in my life.
So, what is the point of waiting? Well, I suppose , like everything else, there are lots of opinions but here is mine. The point of waiting is to grow in our assurance that God is in control, it teaches us to trust His promises because He is always working. The point of waiting is to bring us in a better relationship with Jesus through prayer. And ultimately the greatest point of waiting is to bring God glory…by growing in us the practice of living with expectation that something greater is coming.
Something greater is indeed coming. After our son is home-something is coming. After we return from Egypt-something is coming. After many years of prayers have been answered….still something greater is coming….:“Behold I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me to repay, everyone for what he has done. I am the Alpha and Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.” Revelation 22:12-13
Oh yes friends-a great day approaches…are you ready? Are you waiting?
Keep the Son in your eyes…..
19 Apr 2008 2 Comments
in adoption, christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, home schooling, Jesus, Kids, Life, motherhood
My husband is out of town with Jorden, my girls are asleep, my mom ( who is staying with us because she had back surgery) is sleeping and it is 8:30 on a Friday night. I could do laundry but…why fold when you can blog, right?! Lately, lots of things are going on at the same time. Some days it feels that if another decision is put before me I will be crushed. We are considering 2 different countries/cultures to move to, trying to adopt and trying to figure out Trev’s school and work schedule.. just to name a few things. So I have been thinking…about how simple and hard it is to keep my eyes focused on Christ. Hebrews 12:2 is my life verse “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning it’s shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” It became my life verse a few years ago. I was washing Claire’s hair. She was crying because the water and shampoo kept getting in her eyes. She was about 4 and it was one of those nights when I was extremely tired. Being completely impatient with her I snapped, “If you would just look up~all of this water and shampoo would just roll off of you. It is when you look down ~that is when all this stuff gets in your way. Please just obey!” My friends, it was like the sky opened! It felt like God pushed His thumb on my head and said to me,”Yeah…I have been telling you this for years…all your stress and worries are ruining your vision because you are not looking at me! Please just look up and obey!” I remember this night because what started as a simple act of washing my daughters hair became a life changing moment. I began to cry and could barely finish bathing her. I thought of how merciful it was of God to ask something so simple of me. Just obey~just look up~just keep my eyes on Him! And yet that seemed and still seems so difficult to do. What does it mean for me to FIX my eyes on Christ? Well, first, it means that I need to know why Christ is worthy to behold and worship. (If you do not know that, email me..I have MUCH to say) And then I have to identify what causes me to look away and repent. It means I need to be aware and intentional of my mindset and guarded against my own sinful nature. Lastly it means that I need to look up~not because I want my circumstances to change but because HE IS MY CIRCUMSTANCE. That may sound trite but the reality for those of us who know Jesus is that no matter what our earthly vision tells us…God sees His plan unfolding. Just like the Israelite’s had to look up at the bronze serpent to be healed. (see Exodus) So must we look up. It is an act of trust. It is an act of helplessness and faith combined. It is an act of obedience. Oh, what great mercy….on nights like tonight when my heart is heavy…the mercy of simply looking at Christ is overwhelming, humbling and comforting. It is good dear friends to look at Christ. I encourage you tonight, as I do my children each time they leave me, to “Keep the SON in your eyes and you will always see clearly.”
Trusting and Complaining
10 Apr 2008 Leave a Comment
in adoption, christianity, encouragement, faith, family, home schooling, Jesus, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood, Uncategorized
Ok! I trust that God is in control. I trust that my son is being held in His arms. I trust that all things work together for the good of those who love Him. I trust that His timing is perfect. BUT I am sick of all this “non-waiting”! By ”non-waiting” I mean….we are not waiting to get a referral. We are waiting for our home study to be complete. Not only that but I found out today that our state security clearance has to be renewed because it will expire in only 2 months!!! Also, our marriage certificate has to be re-authenticated because it will expire in 2 months!!! The good news is that we caught all the “soon to expire” papers before we sent in our dossier. That could have be horrible!! But friends…I am dying!! It seems like the details are endless and we have not even begun the “real wait” yet of getting a referral. I know the process will take a long time and I trust that Baby Smith will come home not one day late according to Gods plan. I so long to wait faithfully and trust in the sovereignty of God. I find myself constantly praying for the process. But tonight I am weak and the fight is getting hard before it ever really starts. God’s will is best, though and that is what matters.
Same bag of old tricks…
08 Apr 2008 2 Comments
in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, home schooling, Jesus, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood
So I said there would be pictures but ….Wordpress change how to upload pictures and I can’t figure it out. Sorry…and if anyone can help. I would greatly appreciate any advice. I am tired lately. I think most people are tired. At least, most of the moms I know are. I seem to be having many of the same conversations with my friends. We struggle to be encouraging wives. We struggle to be moms who are full of grace and wisdom. We struggle to look at ourselves in the mirror and be content. We struggle with being happy with our clothes. I am going to do a bit of a confession here. I hear voices. No, not literal voices but a gnawing stream of conscience that says things like..”You are not perfect. Why do you teach your children to obey when you can’t go through a mall with out coveting. Why do you say that they should love others as Christ loves, when you can not be loving to your own kids.” This list could go on. The thing about this voice is that it is not lying. Everything this voice says is true. So let us identify the voice. The voice is satan. Satan does not overtly lie to me. Instead he pulls the same old, tired tricks out of his bag. Satan tells me the truth WITHOUT THE CROSS, WITHOUT THE GRACE AND POWER OF JESUS CHRIST. I think this is a common thing among us fallen creatures. Why should satan come up with a new trick when the old one works so well. Check out Genesis~he told Eve the truth in the wrong context. When Jesus was fasting in the garden (book of Matthew), satan came and tempted Christ with scripture out of context. But Jesus was quick to reply with scripture. You see friends, we need to be quick to discern between the quiet urging of the Holy Spirit over areas in our lives that need to be shaped and the accusing voice of defeat that plagues us into despair. We need to fill ourselves with scripture and begin to understand that In Christ we are forgiven, empowered and free. To those of you who do not know the Lord this will sound like a “get out of jail free card”. Let me assure you that is not the case. It does not mean that we can continue in our sin so that Gods grace may abound but rather that we are truly shaped and changed from the inside out. Our heart effects our actions. Therefore changing the actions is important but the heart must be completely transformed. So here it is brothers and sisters….know the truth. Know Christ. Know what HE says about who you are and what you are doing. And when you hear that degrading immobilizing truth that you are never going to be able to do what is before you, that you will never be good enough…stand up and say,”What you are saying maybe true but let me remind YOU, I know who I am in Christ! I know what He accomplished for me on that cross and by the power of the Holy Spirit and in the name of Jesus Christ, I will stand before my God with an unveiled face and you will be chained to the depths of hell forever!” Knowing the strategies of the enemy always leads to a great defense…. especially when you are standing behind a mighty fortress and the ultimate Defender!
A challenge for wives.
04 Mar 2008 Leave a Comment
in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, home schooling, Jesus, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood, Uncategorized
I am an incredibly blessed woman. I have a husband who treasures me and loves his children. Once at a women’s retreat we were asked to tell our favorite thing about ourselves, I said “I love being my husbands wife!” And don’t get me started about how adorable he is! Even on the days that we aren’t on the same page, I know that he is always for my good. I confess that, of the two of us he is usually the first to apologize and he forgives quickly and more completely. I see him day in and day out and I can say without hesitation that my husband’s life is a life worth imitating in every way. I admire and respect him as a brother in Christ and love him beyond measure. I say this because…often after a full day of home schooling and just being a mom ~I do not always show him these things. So when I was sent this little challenge by a friend I was stoked and couldn’t wait to get started. I wanted to share it with many of you because I know your hearts and your desires to see your marriages and husbands thriving for the glory of God. It is called the The 30 day Husband Encouragement Challenge. If you join me for these 30 days keep me posted on how the Lord is working in your life and what you are learning as you seek to serve, pray and encourage your husband more. May we all be blessed and grow in our marriages and relationship with Christ. OH…for me,tomorrow will be day #1!
What’s working
18 Dec 2007 12 Comments
in encouragement, family, friends, funny stuff, home schooling, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood, Uncategorized
One of my favorite conversations I have with my friends are the ones where we really share what we are doing in our families that works and what doesn’t work. For the last few months I have been doing something that DOES NOT work but when realizing it I tried something new that DOES work. I am usually very tired by 8:30. I mean like really really tired…my patience is nearly gone and as a result my kids were getting the short in end of the stick when it came to bedtime. There were even nights that our bible time was a struggle for me to get through. When it is over I would whisk the kids into bed, give them a quick kiss and I would run out of the room. This was very difficult. The kids were getting up several times for this or that. They had questions. They had needs. AND I had a bad attitude. By the end of the night I felt like a terrible mom. So I began to plead with the Lord for patience…and nothing changed. Finally, the Lord opened my eyes. Our schedule needed to be overhauled. I sat the kids down and explained to them that I really needed them to go to bed because Trevis and I needed time together and it was important for our marriage and our family that they stay in bed. It was a matter of obedience and a matter of being thoughtful. As I was talking to them I realized that they needed special time too. Even though we home school, no one gets one on one attention just for the sake of affection. So 3 weeks ago, we came up with a plan. Each night from 8 to 8:30, I have reserved for individual poetry and snuggling time. I told the children that they must stay in their bed and wait patiently without interrupting me when I am with another child. I read 4 poems and snuggle with each kid for 10 mins. One of our new favorite games is “My favorite thing you did today.” This is where we tell each other what made a big impression on us that day. I have to say that I have learned so very much about my parenting and my kids. I learned that a Lego ship is huge in a boys life and a hug after a fort is built is remembered 4 hours later. I have learned that when Trevis and I kiss in front of our kids it makes them feel proud. I have learned that letting a 7 year old make a salad shows that I trust her.So now, the kids are tucked in nicely and we are no longer struggling to keep them in bed.Anyway, I just wanted to share what was working for us lately~of course what is working is always changing. I would love to know what is working for you. I would especially like to hear from Nan, Candace, Cheri, Jennie and Margie…
My apologetic for home schooling
08 Dec 2007 3 Comments
in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, home schooling, Jesus, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood, Uncategorized
Recently I have had a few people asking about home schooling. Primarily they want to know what made me decide to home school and how does that look on a daily basis. I usually do not talk about home schooling because I do not believe that everyone should do it and I do not believe that by home schooling I or anyone else is any better than mom’s who send their kids to school.I home school for lots of reasons..but mainly because I want my children to understand that God has a purpose and plan for them and everything else they see. Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 says, “The end of the matter, all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgement, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.” It is important that they understand that they are not merely existing but they are glorifying God. They have purpose. Whether they clean toilets or are world leaders they bring a witness of Christ.The other reasons are: I hate the idea of someone else getting the very best of my children. My kids are at their best, most creative and most talkative times in the morning and early afternoon. I love seeing the lights in their eyes when they discover new things. This is when I really get to know my children and how they see the world. Also on a very shallow level~I hate to live a rushed and dictated life. If my kids and I are studying high and low tides…I want to take them to the beach -not send them to a classroom. If we are sick of rain and need some sun, then we can go do school in Prineville and I really do not feel that I should have to consider whether it would be excused on unexcused.It can be a bit of a challenge at times to teach Preschool, Kindergarten, and 2nd grade. It requires a lot of creativity and a true reshaping of what is normal. For one, normal is putting play dough, and legos or a big Pink dollhouse on the table for Ava to play with while we do Math and school. Having a routine is important. School starts at 9 AM. If I have not had a shower..then it is noon before I get a chance. I never answer the phone between 9-noon. Jorden and Claire both do 2nd grade History and Science. I let my kids work through their Math books as fast as they want. If they finish the workbook for their grade and move past it in a year…I don’t mind because I care about their comprehension and love of learning. Ava just sort of learns along with us. Instead of her writing to one hundred by 5′s I have her make the numbers out of playdough. Whatever works right!! Lunch is at noon. Quiet time is 12:30-2:30-any work that was not completed in it’s timeframe is completed during this time in their room. Afterward they play quietly, alone. Chores are at 3:00 and if all goes well there can be a reward of TV ~30 mins to an hour (pending on what I need to get done).The thing about home schooling is that you learn a lot about life and yourself. I need consistency and structure to live well and happy. I do not expect my children to do something I have not taught them to do. Be that how to get into the car or how to show self control…they have a visual idea of what I want from them. I have also learned that kids learn in their PJ’s just as well as in nice clothes. Sitting by the fire with a cup of tea is the best time to truly engage in conversation with your kids. We just read an Anne Frank biography. The kids and I had an incredible conversation about suffering, bravery and what it means to be inspiring. I have learned that scripture and poetry can be great fun and easily memorized. Uno can be played many ways and can teach children more than colors and numbers.Of course, I have also learned that I am terribly selfish and short-tempered. I have never struggled with “who I am” more than I have in the past 3 years. I have never asked for forgiveness so many time in my life. I never thought that my 7 year old could teach me so many life changing lessons. I have learned to lock the bathroom door, turn on the vent and the hair dyer and beg God for the grace to make it through the day. He has always answered. I have learned that being lazy leads to chaos. I have learned that being a woman who loves God and desires to serve her husband and family –is harder than I ever imagined and that good fellowship and the word of God are essential to holding myself together!!For those of you considering home schooling I offer this advice. If your kids are young-start slow. Focus on math and reading and nothing else. Read just as many non-fiction books as fiction.This is a great way to get your kids interested in history and science. Really look at yourself and listen to what your brain and body are saying about what you can handle and what you can’t. My kids go to an enrichment school for 2 days a week. This is a HUGE blessing to me and gives me the energy to teach well the other 3 days. Learn that NOBODY HAS IT TOGETHER….Home school moms constantly doubt themselves. But the most important thing as you begin home schooling is really know why you are doing it….that will differ for everyone. I don’t home school because I think I am better than school teachers…I home school because I want my children to be WISE adults. Which means they are full of knowledge but have the understanding that all things are designed and created to reveal something about God. Even grammar and math…..
