Taking the blame
10 Dec 2010 1 Comment
in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, funny stuff, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood
One of the things you have to be very careful of here is the men. They “cat call” and say things to you when you pass. They are harmless and after awhile you don’t hear it anymore. But one day delightful day I had gone to the gym early early in the morning and because I had arabic class right afterwards I took clothes for the day, including all the toiletries I would need to get ready. Well..as soon as I leave the gym I hear the ineveitable “PSSST PSSTT” (this is how men try and get your attention). But I kept walking thinking nothing of it. Then I hear it again, and again. I get in a cab and go to my class. Afterwards…I hear more “PSSSTTT PSSTT”. Naturally, I ignore this and keep walking…only to hear MORE “Psst Psst”. At this point I am annoyed. “Why can’t these men just grow up!? Why can’t they keep there minds out of the gutter?! Don’t thay have ANY respect for women?! UGH!?” So I walk home becoming more and more irritated with every step…all the while, STILL hearing “Pssst Psst.” By the time I get home I am DONE. Ready to move home where men “know better”. So I go to my bedroom, literally throw my gym bag on the bed and I hear “PSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTT”. Suddenly a huge puff of smoke comes from my bag and I realize that what had been frustrating me all day …was not MEN…at all… It was my powder body spray!! I just stood there staring at the bed. I had been and was SOOOOOO frustrated all day at Egyptian men that now…to discover that, in fact, I was the problem was completely incomprehensible to me. Besides, I reasoned to myself, they still cat call and every bad thought I have had about them today IS TRUE….right?! RIGHT?!?!?!
Ok-no…not right. I was the problem…I had made big big assumptions and was ready to judge an entire country of men, abandon my life here, get on a plane and return home..all over body spray. As I walked over to the bed and righted the bag the “Psssstttting” immediately stopped. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought well now there is no reason at all to be frustrated…but I still felt frustrated. I am ashamed to admit that I was even a little disappointed to discover that I was not being found attractive …I know right!?! Totally crazy!! But these are the games that go on in my head.
So how does this play out in my life? Well, today I realized that I am very often times the problem. When I am struggling, I have the power to make my home tense. When I am short and snappy with the kids…you can bet their attitudes come out. When I am tense and short with Trevis he will get that way with me. And so often I expect to be catered to. I am easily frustrated and tired…I think we all are because life is not a cake walk. But do we realize the power we have to affect our home? Do you let things that have nothing to do with family life dictate how you treat those closest to you? My friend Paige and I use to joke that when we die, our friends will get up and say great things about us…and our husbands will look at the program and the woman in the casket and ask,”Are you sure your at the right funeral?”
One of the areas in my life that I am bringing daily before God is, I want to be a woman clothed in strength, dignity and grace. I want to be a jewel in my husbands crown. I want to be safe for my children. Perfection is not my goal. Of course, I will mess up…of course, I will not be able to obtain this goal..but I very much desire to continually be changed into the likeness of Christ. And maybe…just maybe, my children and husband will see my heart ALONGSIDE my failures. Because I think most of us mothers lay down every night and think, “Tomorrow I will be better. Tomorrow I will be more patient, more kind, more understanding, more….whatever.” I do, at least….but here’s the thing. While we are called to aspire to be full of grace, and compassion..we can only be those things when we are walking with the Lord. We can only change …truly change when the Holy Spirit begans to reshape us. Because if we just “do it” on our own…inevitablly we will get tired and become exhausted with trying to be someone we are not. Only in Christ is there hope for a renewed heart and mind..only He can take what is selfish and sinful and turn it into something beautiful…And He is waiting to help.
p.s. Many of you have sent me wonderful FB private messages. I promise to sit down and write you all back in the next 2 weeks. I usually am doing FB on my phone and it’s hard to respond…but your words are amazing and I am humbled and encouraged. Thank you for your encouragment. May we all continue to press on for Christ…together.
Marriage=8 more and hold
28 Nov 2010 1 Comment
in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, funny stuff, Jesus, Just thinking, motherhood, travel
I am a fitness instructor. At the studio here in E, I really push my classes. My favorite phrase (and I suspect every instructors) is “8 MORE AND HOLD!” What this means is we do 8 more reps of whatever we are doing and then hold the contracted muscle in a static hold for 16 more counts. It’s great!! When you finish your last 8 reps, the muscle is fatigued and then when you hold the muscle in a contracted state and for the next 16 seconds it’s reeeaaaaallllyyy pushed. It hurts,it may even shake and and the last 8 counts of that 16 are the longest of your life and when you are done and it’s time to release it’s incredibly rewarding. I always feel like I have pushed my body beyond what it is capable of and I love seeing my girls pushing themselves, determined to finish well.
Trevis and I have been married for almost 12 years. By God’s grace, our marriage is happy and loving…but it has definately had it’s share of trials and God has done (and continues to do ) a mighty work in our lives to make it that way. (You can read more about that here. There have been season of romance, seasons of sweet friendship, and seasons of “I may just kill you before morning.”
When we were making our leap across the world there was a real sense of “togetherness”. We were amped! We were patient! We were in awe that we were actually moving. The first weeks on the ground here were crazy. Both of us were in culture shock. Neither of us knew anything: not where to get bread or milk…the very basic essentials seemed totally unattainable. And sure, we had a few arguments but for the most part~it was a very sweet time of unity and excitement.
Over the last few months we have experienced a great many things. We have both been pushed to our limits mentally and emotionally. At the end of the day, neither of us have much to give because we have exhausted ourselves just trying to get through the day in the Arab world. I confess that I have been petty and trite. He would confess that he has “micro managed” more than normal. We both feel that we are walking on eggshells lately.
Yesterday, I was processing this season in our lives. The truth is, we have been here before. It’s not new. In fact, I bet most of yall have been here before. We are growing. Being stretched. We are being pushed-God is asking us for “8 more and hold”. I have to be honest and say that often I look in the mirror and wonder how I wound up here in E. I wonder if Trevis married the right kind of woman. I wonder if maybe I should be more spiritual, more secure, stronger, more capable. I wonder what the next years hold. I know as we grow and adapt, things will feel more normal but there is always the thought, “Do not settle. Do not be passive in your marriage. Choose to be in love. Choose to not be petty. Choose to forgive easily.” It’s work…it’s a choice…it’s a daily exercise to pick up the weight of the world with my husband and walk on into whatever God calls us. And not just “walk on” but “walk on” well.
LAST 8 : 1.Walk on exhausted. 2.Walk on insecure. 3.Walk on committed. 4.Walk on because it’s a season. 5.Walk on because you know that you are being perfected. 6.Walk on because you know God is and has been faithful. 7.Walk on because you know joy is coming. 8.Walk on because in the end the reward is greater than the suffering.
And HOLD: Walk on determined that you will trust God even when it feels like you can’t.
*** Now before, I go…please rest assured that my marriage is NOT in danger. Eggshells are part of life and marriage, at times. We still laugh a lot and truly enjoy each other. I still get treats, flowers and many (much to my childrens disgust) sweet kisses… I just wanted to give you a small glimpse into our life here and let you know what God is doing this week. Ma Salama…
Just a little something…
03 Feb 2009 6 Comments
in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, funny stuff, Jesus, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood, Uncategorized
Thanks for your patience. Not much has changed we are still waiting. I should say that the kids are LOVING school and both recently got awards for the spirit of cooperation and leadership in their classes. We were very proud!! Of course, I forgot my camera so you will just have to take my word for it! I wanted to share this little bit from the Ellen Show. I very rarely watch TV but a friend sent this to me and I could not resist posting it. It’s a bit long (almost 7 mins) but I promise it is worth it!! I could not stop laughing. Really really funny-enjoy
Smith-capades
05 Jan 2009 3 Comments
in family, friends, funny stuff, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood, Uncategorized
Happy New Year Yall!!
Our Christmas was really good and despite terrible weather my in-laws made it for Christmas. But because of terrible weather we were all cooped up for about a week. During these blurry days I read the entire Twilight series (sooo amazingly good) and I watched my father-in-law become the fiercest WII golf player on the the planet!! Finally when the roads began to clear up, Trevis and I got out for a much needed dated with some dear friends. Of course, we did a few super fun family events, as well. We hit the Blazer v. Raptors game, where the Blazers had an exciting win and then we went ice skating. I don’t have pictures of the game…but I have some of our ice skating because my sweet mother-in-law took some when she would stop by on a short break from her retail therapy!!
My son is fearless-he had never skated before and refused to hang by the side. I was completely awed at how well he did…all things considered!
The girls stuck together when they were not being assisted by me, daddy or their Pop-Pop. Sooo sweet…
Trevis and I had a little fun ourselves. Once, while on an ice skating date with a girl in HS, Trevis nearly broke his dates leg. So this was a big step for him… I was so impressed at bravery and his ability to laugh while being so focused!! Seriously, we haven’t laughed that hard in a LONG time!!
This is a little pic. of our neighbors house from our porch on Christmas day! ….talk about a white Christmas…I think we all got more than what we bargained for…even better…I think school will be cancelled again tomorrow-because it is snowing yet again..AGGHHHH!!!
Let it snow
22 Dec 2008 3 Comments
in encouragement, faith, family, friends, funny stuff, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood
Here in the NW it snowed, rained and then snowed some more. I love it!! Aside from the fact that my in- laws are delayed from coming for a few days…I could not be happier. Trevis has had plenty of exercise running up and down hills for sled runs with the kids and I get to make yummy treats for them when they come home. This is the life for me. I lived in Colorado for a few years and I have to say that I loved it there….it is the perfect combination of snow and sun. However, the NW is a close second-so anytime a snowman can be built in my yard-I have to get out there and have some fun!!
On top of all this amazing snow is about half an inch of ice. So the kids are really loving smashing huge ice pieces. I wish I had taken pictures this morning (but my camera batteries were charging) of Trevis and Jorden pretending to be Karate guys who break boards with their hands. It was hilarious -even more funny was how manly Jorden felt all day as a result.
This afternoon I tried to take some pictures of our yard but it was getting dark. But this one of the “wiggly tree” explains why when Ava went outside she said, “It looks like twinkles are falling”. So cute!! It really did seem like glitter was falling from the sky. We just stood there for a minute in silence (which is rare) and watched. Of course seconds later my son came running and screaming out of the house and jumped off the deck to break the ice with his “super sonic jump.” So much for peaceful reflective moments…
I did manage to get a picture of backyard before the kids attacked it-so peaceful.
The last picture is of Jorden and Ava. My son beat through the ice to make a path for his little sister. When I saw this picture-I could not help but think of my marriage. Jorden has learned well from his father that God has called him to love, care and protect his family. Thank you Trevis for fighting the battles of life to make our journey as a family easier. You are my hero!
Because we are planning on moving to Egypt next year, we know this could very well be the last big snow we experience here in Vancouver-so we are really trying to enjoy this time to its fullest. (Rumor has it that it doesn’t snow much there.) So all I have to say is…let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!
A bit of comic relief
15 Dec 2008 7 Comments
in adoption, christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, funny stuff, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood
This blog has been a bit serious lately and I am not a very serious person. So I decided to lighten things up just a bit. Below is an old post I am bring back to life because 1. there is no time to write a new post and 2. lots of us are dealing with big things and I want you to find joy in the fact that at least these things have not happened to you.
You know….I think something is wrong with me. I can teach my children how to read, add, subtract and write but I can not think clearly. And when I do think clearly, my actions want to keep me humble and I go and fall or break something. Here are a few examples.
About a year ago an environmentalist lady came to my door in hopes of getting me to donate a few dimes toward lobbying against mines at the bottom of Mount St. Helens. She did a fabulous job of explaining how bad this would be for the environment and how it would contaminate the water. She continued to convey how this would be really bad for the hikers, dogs and those who ride horses along the trails. I was growing more and more tense (no, not because this took 10 mins and my children were painting themselves and the bathroom mirror with toothpaste) but because I was truly concerned and horrified this was something our government would sanction. So I desperately said to the lady,”Doesn’t the UN have laws against this? I don’t know why you would be so concerned about contaminated water when people will be losing arms and legs and horses will be exploding!!!” She looked at me. Her face was blank. She then said with pressed lips, “Mines….like for minerals. Not LAND MINES!!” She quickly walked off my porch. I stood pondering my misunderstanding.
Another example is the time I walked into Safeway to grab a loaf of bread and I thought someone had snuck up behind me. I screamed and fell backwards onto the floor only to realize that I had walked and gotten tangled in a bunch of balloons. It took two people and an army knife to free me.
And then there is the time I hit the fire alarm in a hotel thinking it was the button to start the bubbles in the hot tub.
Perhaps, the worst was meeting my in-laws. The first time I met them was one Thanksgiving. We lived in Colorado Springs and there had been enough snow to delay their flight home. So I volunteered to take Jan (my mother-in-law) and Becky (Trev’s aunt) and Jory (Trev’s middle Brother) to the Broadmoor. This hotel is a 5 star resort. It is nestled in the foothills of the Rocky mountains and is absolutely gorgeous! The day after Thanksgiving they had an ice sculpture exhibit surrounding the pond behind the resort. We went and were getting to know each other. It was akward. We came to a life size sculpture of Santa and 8 life size reindeer. It was magnificent. So knowing that Jan loved to take pictures, I suggested that Jory and I climb up in the sleigh for a picture. We climbed up and all seemed to be fine until I grabbed the velvet rope connected to all the reindeer. As soon as I did this 8 life size reindeer came crashing to the ground. It sounded like a chandelier had fallen!! In a panic we all started to run toward the hotel…”Into the gift shop!” yells Jan. “Oh sure! No one will think to look there!” I said sarcastically. The four of us ran and hid in a corner with a grand piano in front of it. All laughing and out of breath, Jan looks at me and says, “Well, you’ve got no where to go but up!!” Thus began a wonderful relationship!
This is not a complete list by any means. So today when you are down and distressed..remember no matter what happens, you can take comfort in and celebrate knowing …..YOU AREN”T ME!! If you have any moments like the above…I would love to hear them. More laughter is always needed.
Christian Yoga-well not really yoga
13 Mar 2008 1 Comment
in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, funny stuff, Jesus, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood, Uncategorized
OK, you know you live in the Northwest when your church has a women’s function that includes a christian alternative to yoga. The great thing is that for the last year I have really been into yoga but felt that I was not benefiting from it entirely simply because I was always on my guard against the whole “release and empty your mind” stuff. So when I was introduced to WholyFit, I was delighted beyond words. I immediately bought the DVD and each time I do the exercises, I say to Trev, “That’s the best $17 I have ever spent”! All meditations and positions are based on scripture and each position has a physical benefit. I can not speak highly enough about how relaxing, physically challenging and satisfying this program is. Tomorrow my friend Jen and I are going to our first class and I can not wait. You know it is amazing how, as grown ups, we don’t “look forward” to things like we did when we were kids. I can honestly say that having excitement for something this simple has made me feel just a bit child like. Of course, tomorrow when my hamstrings are throbbing because I have been holding “overcomer 2nd position” for 45 seconds I will remember that I am quite grown up!
What do you do?
08 Feb 2008 1 Comment
in encouragement, family, friends, funny stuff, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood, Uncategorized
Let me say, that I raise my kids right. They know about U2 , Coldplay, Newsboys, Matt Redman and Toby Mac and other great artist of our time. But if you really want see my kids dance and sing their brains out….all I have to do is wait for this commercial to come on the radio. When I found this on You Tube, you would have thought I had given them the best gift ever…..Who needs Hannah Montana?… I need to add here that we don’t watch much TV and our credit is excellent. But it is possible that we should get out more!
Smellin’ Yummy for Jesus
24 Dec 2007 1 Comment
in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, funny stuff, Jesus, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood, Uncategorized
Friday and Saturday were baking days. Friday the kids and I made Rice Krispie Treats, Fudge and Sugar Cookies. It was a really fun time and I always love to see my kids working together and being creative. While we were baking God really opened a great door for us to talk about how important it is live our lives for Christ. I was really encouraging Claire to read the recipe and was explaining how important it was to follow it because it was designed to give us the best tasting fudge or cookies. This led into a conversation about the Bible and Gods commands. I explained that by following those commands we will find the most joy because they are designed by God to bring us into a better understanding of Christ. AND when we follow those commands our lives become sweet and pleasing to Jesus. Just like when we follow a recipe ~the cookies are pleasing to us. Later that day when, the cookies were baking and the house was smelling wonderful, Jorden walk through the kitchen, looked at me and said, “Hey mom! I am going down stairs to play legos…and I want to smell yummy for Jesus!!-AWESOME!
What’s working
18 Dec 2007 12 Comments
in encouragement, family, friends, funny stuff, home schooling, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood, Uncategorized
One of my favorite conversations I have with my friends are the ones where we really share what we are doing in our families that works and what doesn’t work. For the last few months I have been doing something that DOES NOT work but when realizing it I tried something new that DOES work. I am usually very tired by 8:30. I mean like really really tired…my patience is nearly gone and as a result my kids were getting the short in end of the stick when it came to bedtime. There were even nights that our bible time was a struggle for me to get through. When it is over I would whisk the kids into bed, give them a quick kiss and I would run out of the room. This was very difficult. The kids were getting up several times for this or that. They had questions. They had needs. AND I had a bad attitude. By the end of the night I felt like a terrible mom. So I began to plead with the Lord for patience…and nothing changed. Finally, the Lord opened my eyes. Our schedule needed to be overhauled. I sat the kids down and explained to them that I really needed them to go to bed because Trevis and I needed time together and it was important for our marriage and our family that they stay in bed. It was a matter of obedience and a matter of being thoughtful. As I was talking to them I realized that they needed special time too. Even though we home school, no one gets one on one attention just for the sake of affection. So 3 weeks ago, we came up with a plan. Each night from 8 to 8:30, I have reserved for individual poetry and snuggling time. I told the children that they must stay in their bed and wait patiently without interrupting me when I am with another child. I read 4 poems and snuggle with each kid for 10 mins. One of our new favorite games is “My favorite thing you did today.” This is where we tell each other what made a big impression on us that day. I have to say that I have learned so very much about my parenting and my kids. I learned that a Lego ship is huge in a boys life and a hug after a fort is built is remembered 4 hours later. I have learned that when Trevis and I kiss in front of our kids it makes them feel proud. I have learned that letting a 7 year old make a salad shows that I trust her.So now, the kids are tucked in nicely and we are no longer struggling to keep them in bed.Anyway, I just wanted to share what was working for us lately~of course what is working is always changing. I would love to know what is working for you. I would especially like to hear from Nan, Candace, Cheri, Jennie and Margie…
