Taking the blame
10 Dec 2010 1 Comment
in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, funny stuff, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood
One of the things you have to be very careful of here is the men. They “cat call” and say things to you when you pass. They are harmless and after awhile you don’t hear it anymore. But one day delightful day I had gone to the gym early early in the morning and because I had arabic class right afterwards I took clothes for the day, including all the toiletries I would need to get ready. Well..as soon as I leave the gym I hear the ineveitable “PSSST PSSTT” (this is how men try and get your attention). But I kept walking thinking nothing of it. Then I hear it again, and again. I get in a cab and go to my class. Afterwards…I hear more “PSSSTTT PSSTT”. Naturally, I ignore this and keep walking…only to hear MORE “Psst Psst”. At this point I am annoyed. “Why can’t these men just grow up!? Why can’t they keep there minds out of the gutter?! Don’t thay have ANY respect for women?! UGH!?” So I walk home becoming more and more irritated with every step…all the while, STILL hearing “Pssst Psst.” By the time I get home I am DONE. Ready to move home where men “know better”. So I go to my bedroom, literally throw my gym bag on the bed and I hear “PSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTT”. Suddenly a huge puff of smoke comes from my bag and I realize that what had been frustrating me all day …was not MEN…at all… It was my powder body spray!! I just stood there staring at the bed. I had been and was SOOOOOO frustrated all day at Egyptian men that now…to discover that, in fact, I was the problem was completely incomprehensible to me. Besides, I reasoned to myself, they still cat call and every bad thought I have had about them today IS TRUE….right?! RIGHT?!?!?!
Ok-no…not right. I was the problem…I had made big big assumptions and was ready to judge an entire country of men, abandon my life here, get on a plane and return home..all over body spray. As I walked over to the bed and righted the bag the “Psssstttting” immediately stopped. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought well now there is no reason at all to be frustrated…but I still felt frustrated. I am ashamed to admit that I was even a little disappointed to discover that I was not being found attractive …I know right!?! Totally crazy!! But these are the games that go on in my head.
So how does this play out in my life? Well, today I realized that I am very often times the problem. When I am struggling, I have the power to make my home tense. When I am short and snappy with the kids…you can bet their attitudes come out. When I am tense and short with Trevis he will get that way with me. And so often I expect to be catered to. I am easily frustrated and tired…I think we all are because life is not a cake walk. But do we realize the power we have to affect our home? Do you let things that have nothing to do with family life dictate how you treat those closest to you? My friend Paige and I use to joke that when we die, our friends will get up and say great things about us…and our husbands will look at the program and the woman in the casket and ask,”Are you sure your at the right funeral?”
One of the areas in my life that I am bringing daily before God is, I want to be a woman clothed in strength, dignity and grace. I want to be a jewel in my husbands crown. I want to be safe for my children. Perfection is not my goal. Of course, I will mess up…of course, I will not be able to obtain this goal..but I very much desire to continually be changed into the likeness of Christ. And maybe…just maybe, my children and husband will see my heart ALONGSIDE my failures. Because I think most of us mothers lay down every night and think, “Tomorrow I will be better. Tomorrow I will be more patient, more kind, more understanding, more….whatever.” I do, at least….but here’s the thing. While we are called to aspire to be full of grace, and compassion..we can only be those things when we are walking with the Lord. We can only change …truly change when the Holy Spirit begans to reshape us. Because if we just “do it” on our own…inevitablly we will get tired and become exhausted with trying to be someone we are not. Only in Christ is there hope for a renewed heart and mind..only He can take what is selfish and sinful and turn it into something beautiful…And He is waiting to help.
p.s. Many of you have sent me wonderful FB private messages. I promise to sit down and write you all back in the next 2 weeks. I usually am doing FB on my phone and it’s hard to respond…but your words are amazing and I am humbled and encouraged. Thank you for your encouragment. May we all continue to press on for Christ…together.
Blondes Don’t Have More Fun….
07 Dec 2010 5 Comments
in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, Jesus, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood, travel
Ever have those moments when your heartbreaks for your children? Last night was one of those nights.
Here in Egypt, children are greatly loved and adored by all people. Many times, as small children pass they are touched and complimented and often given gifts/treats. It’s really a beautiful thing. However, because this is not our first culture this is particularly hard for our children. Specifically, Ava.
Ava is a little bit different than my other children. With Claire and Jorden you can bet that what you see is what you get. Ava on the other hand appears to be very confident but is actually quite reserved and hesitant to try new things. Here Ava draws ALOT of attention because of her blonde hair. Everyone remembers her name. Every body on the street (very gently and in a non-harmful way) touches her head or her cheek. It’s not uncommon for people on our way to school to run out of their shop and call her name. Now, sometimes…this is ok with her. If she is feeling especially happy she will wave and bid them “Sebah ElHare” or Good morning. But most of the time this is very difficult for her.
Last night as I was washing dishes Ava comes in and sits on the chair next me. She begins by saying, “Mama, I don’t like it when I have to be nice to people on the street.” Now my first reaction was to laugh a bit and say, “WHY?!” Then she proceeds to tell me how uncomfortable it is for her to be patted and spoken too everyday…everywhere. Then at the very end she says, “I just wish my hair was brown or black or that I didn’t look like this.” Ok, for you mothers reading this you can imagine how my heart sunk at hearing my 6 year old tell me that she wishes she looked different.
So there we stood looking at each other. Me, silently praying for some words that would really mean something to her. I didn’t want to pacify her. I didn’t want to tell her, “Your beautiful. Don’t worry about it.” Instead, I actually wondered if we should do a dark non permanent wash on her hair…I wondered if it would make difference and I wondered where to find it. She: looking at me with large dark sad eyes…waiting for comforting words from me. So rather than suggesting we dye here hair I asked her, “Do you realize that God made you extra special? You are the only one out of the five of us that has blonde hair. And He knew you would grow up in Egypt. Do you think that God makes mistakes?” She answers a quiet, “no”. “And do you know that one day your hair will be brown like mommies, so it’s just a little bit of time for you have yellow hair”? “Really?” she answers. Then I said,”Yes, so it’s just for a little bit that you have to have blonde hair. But now, God wants you to trust him? Accept that you are especailly created in His image and when you feel uncomfortable remember that He is with you. And remember ..Daddy and I will make very sure that you are never harmed and while I expect you to be respectful, you don’t have to be friendly to strangers.” She just sadly nodded and went in her room and cried. So I just crawled in bed with her and we snuggled, we prayed, we talked about home, cousins, grandparents and friends. This morning she was better. A little extra time and it seemed that it was enough to get her through the day.
As I think now I realize that my reaction to lifes hardships are very similar to Ava’s. I want to change things or fix things before I really seek to trust in the Lord. I am so quick to think of alternatives rather than simply saying, “Lord, give me the grace handle the situation you have placed me in. Change me so that through this time I can draw closer to you.” And so often, after I have spent time in the word or in prayer, I really do find the strength to rest and trust in His plans for my life.
Today Ava is fine. Laughing with little kids on the street and waving to the man that does everyones ironing. It seems that for now the crisis has passed. But my heart is still “on guard” for her. I will now put her on the other side of me when we pass people. I will now look people in the eye and shake my head when they see her and smile because Ava and her security is more important than the approval of those around me. But most importantly, parenting (once again) has shed light on a weakness in my life. A weakness that when not identified will lead to a “pull myself up by the bootstraps” mentality.
I am grateful for the opportunity to pray for and with my daughter, even though I grieve the heart ache she is dealing with. I am grateful that God revealed to me the danger of “jumping to fix” things when what I really need to do is trust. But mostly, I am glad that she actually talked to me …and I think that is what God must feel when we finally get to a point that our burdens are to heavy to carry. He has joy in our commuication with Him. When we draw near..and we give Him the opportunity to be our comforter and our shelter..it there in those sweet moments that we are weak enough and vulnerable enough to really experience the true sweet healing spirit of our Loving Savior.
Marriage=8 more and hold
28 Nov 2010 1 Comment
in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, funny stuff, Jesus, Just thinking, motherhood, travel
I am a fitness instructor. At the studio here in E, I really push my classes. My favorite phrase (and I suspect every instructors) is “8 MORE AND HOLD!” What this means is we do 8 more reps of whatever we are doing and then hold the contracted muscle in a static hold for 16 more counts. It’s great!! When you finish your last 8 reps, the muscle is fatigued and then when you hold the muscle in a contracted state and for the next 16 seconds it’s reeeaaaaallllyyy pushed. It hurts,it may even shake and and the last 8 counts of that 16 are the longest of your life and when you are done and it’s time to release it’s incredibly rewarding. I always feel like I have pushed my body beyond what it is capable of and I love seeing my girls pushing themselves, determined to finish well.
Trevis and I have been married for almost 12 years. By God’s grace, our marriage is happy and loving…but it has definately had it’s share of trials and God has done (and continues to do ) a mighty work in our lives to make it that way. (You can read more about that here. There have been season of romance, seasons of sweet friendship, and seasons of “I may just kill you before morning.”
When we were making our leap across the world there was a real sense of “togetherness”. We were amped! We were patient! We were in awe that we were actually moving. The first weeks on the ground here were crazy. Both of us were in culture shock. Neither of us knew anything: not where to get bread or milk…the very basic essentials seemed totally unattainable. And sure, we had a few arguments but for the most part~it was a very sweet time of unity and excitement.
Over the last few months we have experienced a great many things. We have both been pushed to our limits mentally and emotionally. At the end of the day, neither of us have much to give because we have exhausted ourselves just trying to get through the day in the Arab world. I confess that I have been petty and trite. He would confess that he has “micro managed” more than normal. We both feel that we are walking on eggshells lately.
Yesterday, I was processing this season in our lives. The truth is, we have been here before. It’s not new. In fact, I bet most of yall have been here before. We are growing. Being stretched. We are being pushed-God is asking us for “8 more and hold”. I have to be honest and say that often I look in the mirror and wonder how I wound up here in E. I wonder if Trevis married the right kind of woman. I wonder if maybe I should be more spiritual, more secure, stronger, more capable. I wonder what the next years hold. I know as we grow and adapt, things will feel more normal but there is always the thought, “Do not settle. Do not be passive in your marriage. Choose to be in love. Choose to not be petty. Choose to forgive easily.” It’s work…it’s a choice…it’s a daily exercise to pick up the weight of the world with my husband and walk on into whatever God calls us. And not just “walk on” but “walk on” well.
LAST 8 : 1.Walk on exhausted. 2.Walk on insecure. 3.Walk on committed. 4.Walk on because it’s a season. 5.Walk on because you know that you are being perfected. 6.Walk on because you know God is and has been faithful. 7.Walk on because you know joy is coming. 8.Walk on because in the end the reward is greater than the suffering.
And HOLD: Walk on determined that you will trust God even when it feels like you can’t.
*** Now before, I go…please rest assured that my marriage is NOT in danger. Eggshells are part of life and marriage, at times. We still laugh a lot and truly enjoy each other. I still get treats, flowers and many (much to my childrens disgust) sweet kisses… I just wanted to give you a small glimpse into our life here and let you know what God is doing this week. Ma Salama…
Just a little something…
03 Feb 2009 6 Comments
in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, funny stuff, Jesus, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood, Uncategorized
Thanks for your patience. Not much has changed we are still waiting. I should say that the kids are LOVING school and both recently got awards for the spirit of cooperation and leadership in their classes. We were very proud!! Of course, I forgot my camera so you will just have to take my word for it! I wanted to share this little bit from the Ellen Show. I very rarely watch TV but a friend sent this to me and I could not resist posting it. It’s a bit long (almost 7 mins) but I promise it is worth it!! I could not stop laughing. Really really funny-enjoy
Smith-capades
05 Jan 2009 3 Comments
in family, friends, funny stuff, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood, Uncategorized
Happy New Year Yall!!
Our Christmas was really good and despite terrible weather my in-laws made it for Christmas. But because of terrible weather we were all cooped up for about a week. During these blurry days I read the entire Twilight series (sooo amazingly good) and I watched my father-in-law become the fiercest WII golf player on the the planet!! Finally when the roads began to clear up, Trevis and I got out for a much needed dated with some dear friends. Of course, we did a few super fun family events, as well. We hit the Blazer v. Raptors game, where the Blazers had an exciting win and then we went ice skating. I don’t have pictures of the game…but I have some of our ice skating because my sweet mother-in-law took some when she would stop by on a short break from her retail therapy!!
My son is fearless-he had never skated before and refused to hang by the side. I was completely awed at how well he did…all things considered!
The girls stuck together when they were not being assisted by me, daddy or their Pop-Pop. Sooo sweet…
Trevis and I had a little fun ourselves. Once, while on an ice skating date with a girl in HS, Trevis nearly broke his dates leg. So this was a big step for him… I was so impressed at bravery and his ability to laugh while being so focused!! Seriously, we haven’t laughed that hard in a LONG time!!
This is a little pic. of our neighbors house from our porch on Christmas day! ….talk about a white Christmas…I think we all got more than what we bargained for…even better…I think school will be cancelled again tomorrow-because it is snowing yet again..AGGHHHH!!!
The Freedom of Christmas
24 Dec 2008 3 Comments
in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, Jesus, Just thinking, Life, motherhood, Uncategorized
I have a confession. Because of Facebook I am running into alot of people that I used to know in high school and college. This is great and I love it…but I have to say that it poses somewhat of a problem for me. You see, I am not the same person I was back then. Yes, I know we all change.. but I mean, I am REALLY not the same person. In fact, I usually feel the overwhelming need to apologize to anyone that knew me before 2003. Though, I came to know the Lord in 1989-it took years for God to really impact my way of thinking. I look back at who I was, especially during college, and I just cringe at what a wretched little selfish girl I was. Please do not get me wrong…I am still selfish (and wretched) but …..not like that. Recently, I had the opportunity to apologize to an old college boyfriend who was really a great guy…but I had no idea what to do with him because I had no idea how to look farther than my own reflection and selfishness. As a result, I was not honest with him and showed very little (if any) concern for his heart when the relationship ended. My actions toward him have caused me great shame for many years. God was good and merciful to give me the opportunity to repent, it was healing to lay down such a heavy burden. Though, I must say there are many people who I have hurt in the past and deserve an apology.
I am saying this tonight because I realized that I do not live what I believe. I believe that God can make all things new. He can transform a broken tainted life and make it beautiful. I believe He can raise what was dead and make it new. I know this because of what he did in my marriage. (See that here) I know this…because though I still wrestle with many selfish things…I am changed and continually being changed.
But here is the problem, I still feel the shame of who I was and of my actions for all those years in the past. So the question I feel my spirit asking is, “Do you believe that Jesus is what He said He is? Do you believe that Jesus can do what He says He can do?” Paul wrote in 2 Cor. 5:17 , “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” I have read these words for years but, only recently, am I trying to wrap my brain around the absolute power and freedom found in them. I DO believe them…but I don’t live and walk in this truth everyday. I live with a thin film of shame on my life. It has wrapped very comfortably around me like an old blanket that serves no purpose. This is NOT what being a “new creation” means. In order for me to walk in this truth, I must pray and ask God to give me the wisdom, understanding and strength to continually remind myself that I am forgiven. I have to continually remind myself that I am not that same girl. I have to continually remind myself that Jesus has made me new and the old has passed away!! I have to continually remind myself that I am FREE! FREE to enjoy the grace that God has given me, FREE to share about what God is doing and has done in my life. I am FREE to be me…the me found in Christ, the me that lives for His Glory and not my own!!
This is important right now, to me, because Christmas is only a day away. You see, I am celebrating the coming of Jesus differently this year than in years past. Sure, I have always known that Jesus came to forgive us. I have, at times, so casually said this that I wonder if I really meant it at all. I have sung countless Christmas hymns with such a flighty heart that I am certain I was not worshiping my Lord. But this year I realize this birth was the beginning of a life that was only to be lived in order to bring about forgiveness of our sins and to empower us to walk in victory over them. My sins -though vast in number and more wicked than I dare say~ are no more. How great is our God? How must He love us to give such great grace when we are so vile? This child that we sing about and celebrate came to die for our freedom. Freedom from sin, so that we may look at the Father with an unveiled face and stand forgiven~free of shame!! O there is no gift as sweet as the gift of Jesus and the life I have found in Him!
Hark the Herald angels sings, “GLORY TO THE NEWBORN KING.
Peace on Earth and mercy mild; GOD AND SINNERS RECONCILED”
Let it snow
22 Dec 2008 3 Comments
in encouragement, faith, family, friends, funny stuff, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood
Here in the NW it snowed, rained and then snowed some more. I love it!! Aside from the fact that my in- laws are delayed from coming for a few days…I could not be happier. Trevis has had plenty of exercise running up and down hills for sled runs with the kids and I get to make yummy treats for them when they come home. This is the life for me. I lived in Colorado for a few years and I have to say that I loved it there….it is the perfect combination of snow and sun. However, the NW is a close second-so anytime a snowman can be built in my yard-I have to get out there and have some fun!!
On top of all this amazing snow is about half an inch of ice. So the kids are really loving smashing huge ice pieces. I wish I had taken pictures this morning (but my camera batteries were charging) of Trevis and Jorden pretending to be Karate guys who break boards with their hands. It was hilarious -even more funny was how manly Jorden felt all day as a result.
This afternoon I tried to take some pictures of our yard but it was getting dark. But this one of the “wiggly tree” explains why when Ava went outside she said, “It looks like twinkles are falling”. So cute!! It really did seem like glitter was falling from the sky. We just stood there for a minute in silence (which is rare) and watched. Of course seconds later my son came running and screaming out of the house and jumped off the deck to break the ice with his “super sonic jump.” So much for peaceful reflective moments…
I did manage to get a picture of backyard before the kids attacked it-so peaceful.
The last picture is of Jorden and Ava. My son beat through the ice to make a path for his little sister. When I saw this picture-I could not help but think of my marriage. Jorden has learned well from his father that God has called him to love, care and protect his family. Thank you Trevis for fighting the battles of life to make our journey as a family easier. You are my hero!
Because we are planning on moving to Egypt next year, we know this could very well be the last big snow we experience here in Vancouver-so we are really trying to enjoy this time to its fullest. (Rumor has it that it doesn’t snow much there.) So all I have to say is…let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!
A bit of comic relief
15 Dec 2008 7 Comments
in adoption, christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, funny stuff, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood
This blog has been a bit serious lately and I am not a very serious person. So I decided to lighten things up just a bit. Below is an old post I am bring back to life because 1. there is no time to write a new post and 2. lots of us are dealing with big things and I want you to find joy in the fact that at least these things have not happened to you.
You know….I think something is wrong with me. I can teach my children how to read, add, subtract and write but I can not think clearly. And when I do think clearly, my actions want to keep me humble and I go and fall or break something. Here are a few examples.
About a year ago an environmentalist lady came to my door in hopes of getting me to donate a few dimes toward lobbying against mines at the bottom of Mount St. Helens. She did a fabulous job of explaining how bad this would be for the environment and how it would contaminate the water. She continued to convey how this would be really bad for the hikers, dogs and those who ride horses along the trails. I was growing more and more tense (no, not because this took 10 mins and my children were painting themselves and the bathroom mirror with toothpaste) but because I was truly concerned and horrified this was something our government would sanction. So I desperately said to the lady,”Doesn’t the UN have laws against this? I don’t know why you would be so concerned about contaminated water when people will be losing arms and legs and horses will be exploding!!!” She looked at me. Her face was blank. She then said with pressed lips, “Mines….like for minerals. Not LAND MINES!!” She quickly walked off my porch. I stood pondering my misunderstanding.
Another example is the time I walked into Safeway to grab a loaf of bread and I thought someone had snuck up behind me. I screamed and fell backwards onto the floor only to realize that I had walked and gotten tangled in a bunch of balloons. It took two people and an army knife to free me.
And then there is the time I hit the fire alarm in a hotel thinking it was the button to start the bubbles in the hot tub.
Perhaps, the worst was meeting my in-laws. The first time I met them was one Thanksgiving. We lived in Colorado Springs and there had been enough snow to delay their flight home. So I volunteered to take Jan (my mother-in-law) and Becky (Trev’s aunt) and Jory (Trev’s middle Brother) to the Broadmoor. This hotel is a 5 star resort. It is nestled in the foothills of the Rocky mountains and is absolutely gorgeous! The day after Thanksgiving they had an ice sculpture exhibit surrounding the pond behind the resort. We went and were getting to know each other. It was akward. We came to a life size sculpture of Santa and 8 life size reindeer. It was magnificent. So knowing that Jan loved to take pictures, I suggested that Jory and I climb up in the sleigh for a picture. We climbed up and all seemed to be fine until I grabbed the velvet rope connected to all the reindeer. As soon as I did this 8 life size reindeer came crashing to the ground. It sounded like a chandelier had fallen!! In a panic we all started to run toward the hotel…”Into the gift shop!” yells Jan. “Oh sure! No one will think to look there!” I said sarcastically. The four of us ran and hid in a corner with a grand piano in front of it. All laughing and out of breath, Jan looks at me and says, “Well, you’ve got no where to go but up!!” Thus began a wonderful relationship!
This is not a complete list by any means. So today when you are down and distressed..remember no matter what happens, you can take comfort in and celebrate knowing …..YOU AREN”T ME!! If you have any moments like the above…I would love to hear them. More laughter is always needed.
From the horses mouth..
13 Dec 2008 10 Comments
in adoption, christianity, encouragement, family, friends, Jesus, Just thinking, Kids, Life, motherhood
Well, it seems that my recent post will continue to a serve as a reminder to me. We got more news and you can read it for yourselves here. We are encouraged that the country has not CLOSED..but honestly, I am struggling in my faith. I am struggling to understand how this is good for us or Micah. I sympathize with the disciples when they said, “Lord, help my unbelief.”
Trevis continues to be just amazing and unwavering in his love and gentleness towards me. He is not used to having a teary wife. Of course, he is totally used to me being overly dramatic and sassy -but not teary. However, we both have a peace that passes all understanding. We still have joy and are able to see the blessings that we have. The children pray for Micah every chance they get and I pray that God will use this time to grow their faith as well.
All of that to say..keep praying for us.
Don’t Waste Your Wait..
03 Dec 2008 9 Comments
in christianity, encouragement, faith, family, friends, Jesus, Just thinking, Kids, motherhood, Uncategorized
Waiting is sort of the theme of our lives these days. Adoption is all about waiting. Emotions have run high and low and pending on the hour, we may be doing well with the wait or not doing well at all. However about 2 weeks ago, I was inspired by an article written by John Piper. A few years ago he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. During his treatment he wrote an article called “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”.This got me thinking…how do I not waste this wait. So here is what I have come up with.
1.You will waste your wait if you fall into self-pity and become self absorbed. When we are self absorbed nothing else and no one else matters. Therefore we quit loving and serving others. Even if we are still going through the motions…it is in vain if we do not love.
2. You will waste your wait if you pull away from relationships. People may not fully understand what you are dealing with but… retreating helps no one. Staying connected forces you to remain vulnerable and stretches others to become compassionate.
3.You will waste your wait if you try to figure out what is wrong with you. Often people make deals with God in desperation. “Show me what you want and I will do it”! Somehow thinking that if we were better or different the waiting would end. Make no mistake being “better” doesn’t make us entitled and being changed is a process.
4.You will waste your wait if you make the wait about getting what you want. Waiting refines us it produces faith, perseverance…if we make the wait about “getting our way” or “what we want” then we have missed an opportunity to be changed into a better likeness of Christ.
5. You will waste your wait if you equate waiting with doing nothing. Waiting is a verb. You are doing something. Everyday is one day closer to the end or the answer. Every breath is an opportunity to be patient and grow into a deeper trust of Jesus.
6. You will waste your wait if you are afraid to be changed. We hold so tightly to who we are …or who we think we are. Becoming weak and vulnerable is a good thing. Once we realize that suffering is part of being human, that grows in us a desire to love deeper, speak truthfully, and give grace more easily.
7.You will waste your wait if you try to “arrive”. The truth is acceptance is not what God has asked of me. He is saying is “Long for your son, ache for your son, don’t be content that he is not home. But realize that I am Almighty. Realize that I am able. Realize that I keep you and your son. And through this time seek to know me, seek to know my peace!”
8. You will waste your wait if you detach from the object of your wait. For those of us adopting this may be rather hard. Some days, I can not look at pictures of Micah and others I can. But God is using this time to grow a great deep love for him in my heart and in the heart of those around us. Whatever it is we are waiting for, it hard because it is personal-that is ok, be faithful to bring it all back in constant prayer.
9. You will waste your wait if you assume that waiting is easier for others. This causes us to not receive proper encouragement. When we feel that our wait is harder or our circumstance is different what we are really saying is,”I am entitled to struggle or be impatient because it is me and my situation is more personal.”
10. You will waste your wait if your assume that God is distant. The point of waiting is to reveal to you how incredibly close God is TO YOU. God is so good, so kind, so loving that as you wait and grieve and wonder…He comforts. He wants to reveal more of Himself. Not only is He in control He CARES!
11. You will waste your wait if you think the waiting is about you. Waiting is a gift. Not an easy one but it is one that causes us to realize that we have no control, we have no influence, we have no ability to change things. Waiting is about coming to the ultimate realization that life is about GOD. It is about His will, His authority and His glory.
Please understand that I do all of the things listed above everyday…and unfortunately, I will always wrestle with these things because I am a sinner. Once Micah is home, I hope that I seek the Lord then, as much as I do now. I must confess, that more than likely, I will not. I am weak in faith. I am slow to trust and I am quick to panic. My biggest prayer is that I will be transformed. Truly changed!!
*I also want to add that if you are not a believer in Jesus Christ my list may not make sense to you. Please know I would love to talk with you. Jesus is not like Mary Kay…I don’t have a sales pitch but I do have a story. I’ll listen to yours, if you will listen to mine.
