We got an update…..there is not much new on the Kryg side of things. Our agency is hopeful that things will start moving for those of us who have referrals but it could still be awhile. Those who were waiting for referrals may now be looking at other options and countries.
If we are dear friends you have heard me say, “We need to sit down and chat”. That is my code for “serious stuff is going on”. Well “we need to sit down and chat”-Trevis and I had different reactions to this update. He seemed to feel it wasn’t terrible, just more of the same. I felt like jumping off a bridge (ok that is figuratively speaking). Micah turned 8 months on the 12th (tears now), and my arms literally ache to hold him. Every action I do with my children I have at home screams at me that Micah is not here. I have never wanted to make another sandwich, pour a cup of juice, wash another head, change another diaper so badly in my life!! How long–I hear the words of King David in Psalm 40 (sung by Bono , of course) “How Long, How long must I sing this song…”. Every time I hear “Fix you” by Coldplay I just about double over with pain. I know He IS in control, I know He IS for our good and Micahs. I know! I know! I know! But I don’t FEEL that today…maybe tomorrow, maybe in an hour but not right now!
I tell you this because, I feel like to say anything else would be a lie. I try not to be soo terribly vulnerable here but today-this is what I have-please pray for us, for me-that I would not give up, pray for Micah who needs a family!
***So it has been a few hours and I can not even tell you how much I appreciate your calls, email, post left here and on FB. I am a bit better. God is faithful to me even when I am not faithful to Him. I thought about erasing this post. It is a bit embarrassing now that my head is more clear, but I will leave it. 1. Because it is true and I don’t want to lie and pretend to be more faithful/stronger than I am. 2. Because be it adoption, jobs, or whatever-I think we have all come to a point where we feel that we have nothing left to offer. God is good and used all of you today to minister comfort. Thank you so very much!
8 Comments
Thursday,January 15,2009 at 7:08 pm
I am praying for you and your family today. I feeeel your pain, as it often mirrors my own. The good news is that positive measures are being taken to get all the “Micah”s home, and that is very great news for all of us!
Thursday,January 15,2009 at 7:09 pm
So with you!
God, please move in Kyrgyzstan and grant us the grace and peace we need while we wait. Amen.
~Luke
Thursday,January 15,2009 at 9:04 pm
Praying, Bec, praying. God is good all the time.
Thursday,January 15,2009 at 9:05 pm
Oh girl, my heart is broken for you. I don’t understand the waiting either. I’m so sorry. Praying for unity in your marriage and how you comfort each other, and just for a quick miracle. Love you and miss you.
Thursday,January 15,2009 at 10:05 pm
I admire you for expressing yourself honestly & faithfully at the same time. It’s very healthy not to avoid our emotions, and on any given day, I feel the same — all the while, knowing that God loves us and is in control. Still, it’s okay to feel sad & disappointed because you know you will get thru this and that you are living through the worst part. So, the best is yet to come! (My little one will be 9 months in two days & I will celebrate with my husband & 3 dogs with some cupcakes!)
Friday,January 16,2009 at 12:03 am
My heart breaks for you Rebecca, and for baby Micah whom you long to hold. Praying for you……
Friday,January 16,2009 at 4:00 am
Hey Bec,
I’m sending you hugs right now. I’m praying for comfort, peace and continued knowledge that “the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, it is new every morning, great is His faithfulness”.
…Lamentations 32-ish. He will be faithful to see you through this. love you.
Tuesday,January 20,2009 at 2:56 am
Hey there! I’m Gary & Kerry’s daughter … friends of your in-laws! They sent me the link to your blog a while back and I do read it often.
Leaving you a note of encouragement … please know that I’m lifting you up in prayer … and little Micah! God will be faithful to His promises!!
Blessings – Lindsay